Things Not To Say During Childbirth…

Ultrasound Baby

  • Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
  • Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
  • I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
  • If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
  • That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
  • When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
  • You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
  • This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
  • Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
  • Stop your swearing and just breathe.
  • Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You’re not using the right words.
  • Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.

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