Stupid Questions to Park Rangers

Who Says There’s No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?

These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
(Source: Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121)

Grand Canyon National Park

Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom — where is it?
Is the mule train air conditioned?
So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park

Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o’clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)

What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park

Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
What did they worship in the kivas — their own made-up religion?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park

How much of the cave is underground?
So what’s in the unexplored part of the cave?
Does it ever rain in here?
How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
So what is this — just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park

Where are the cages for the animals?
What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park

Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
How do you turn it on?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?