Science

  • Star Trek Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Top 10 Bumperstickers on the U.S.S. Enterprise

    “Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!” “One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day…think about it” “HONK if you’ve slept with Commander Riker!” “Guns don’t kill people…Class 2 Phasers do!” “Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!” “CAUTION…We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical.” “If you can read this…don’t you think you’re a wee bit too close?” “Have you hugged a Ferengi today?” “We brake for cubes!” “Wesley On Board!” And, the best bumpersticker on Borg ship: “Blonde Borgs have the same fun.”

  • Cloud Of Alcohol In Space
    Science

    400 Trillion Trillion Pints of Beer Lost in Space

    This week, a million fraternity brothers rushed to join NASA. The reason: scientists have discovered beer in space. Well, not beer exactly. But they did find alcohol: ethyl alcohol, to be precise, the active ingredient in all major alcoholic drinks (antifreeze Jell-O shots, quite obviously, are exempted from this category). Three British scientists, Drs. Tom Millar, Geoffrey MacDonald and Rolf Habing, discovered this interstellar Everclear floating in a gas cloud in the contellation of Aquila (sign of the Eagle, the mascot of Anheuser-Busch! Hmmmmm). G34.3 from Owen Chikazawa on Vimeo. Millar and his compatriots have estimated the size of this gas cloud at approximately 1,000 times the diameter of our…

  • Comics,  Science

    Cartoon Laws of Physics

    Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Cartoon Law II Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this…

  • Sun Solar Flare
    Blonde,  Science

    Blonde on the Sun

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!” The American said, “We were the first on the moon!” The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!” The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

  • Star Trek Enterprise Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    20 Things that never happen in Star Trek

    The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright. Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and it works properly. The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat. The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well stocked Enterprise sick-bay. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is…

  • Animal,  Science,  TV Humor

    To Boldly Go Where No Dog Has Gone Before!

    This image has been all over the internet, so it’s hard to give credit to the person who actually did this, but whoever you are, Live Long And Prosper! 😛 To Boldly Go Where No Dog Has Gone Before! Update: According to a commenter below, this wonderful piece of art was made by a woman called Abi from Sheffield, UK. She did it a couple of days after the film came out and took the dog for a walk around town. So all the credit goes to her! Again, Live Long And Prosper!

  • Science Technology Paper
    School,  Science,  Translation Fail

    A Guide to Effective Scientific Communication

    Phrase: It has long been known Translation: I haven’t bothered to look up the reference Phrase: It is believed Translation: I think Phrase: It is generally believed Translation: A couple of other guys think so too Phrase: It is not unreasonable to assume Translation: If you believe this, you’ll believe anything Phrase: Of great theoretical importance Translation: I find it kind of interesting Phrase: Of great practical importance Translation: I can get some mileage out of it Phrase: Typical results are shown Translation: The best results are shown Phrase: 3 samples were chosen for further study Translation: The others didn’t make sense, so we ignored them Phrase: The 4 hour…

  • NASA Apollo
    American,  Indian,  Science

    Indian Message To The Moon

    When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. “What are these guys in the big suits doing?” A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old…

  • Star Trek Voyager Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Top 10 Signs You’ve Watched Too Much Star Trek

    You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. You pull the legs off your hamster so you’ll have a tribble. You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale. Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Capt. Kirk. You fly into a…

  • Star Trek Voyager Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Signs that Star Trek is Taking Over Your Life

    Saying “make it so” in casual conversation Indignation because the periodic table doesn’t include dilithium and tritanium. Able to use “variable phase inverter” in a sentence without excessive thought first More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer Have figured out the stardate system Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and “The Omega Glory” Memorization of the crew’s authorization codes Forgetting that present-day elevators don’t have voice interface Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments Actual serious thoughts about buying that…

  • Star Trek Spaceship
    American,  Business,  Computer,  Lawyer,  Science,  TV Humor

    Star Trek Lost Episode

    Picard: “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?” Geordi: “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.” Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen. Riker looks puzzled: “What the hell is ‘Microsoft’?” Data turns to answer: “Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called ‘Windows’, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.” Picard: “But…

  • Star Trek Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Top 20 Uses for Data’s Detached Head

    Combonation paperweight/stapler for Picard’s desk The ball in Parisis’ Squares Hood ornament for Shuttlecraft Replace Troi’s broken Chia Pet Scare blind students in Braille class Prop open doors for maintainence crews Lawn decoration in Arboreteum Footstool for Captain’s chair entertaining kids in day care puppet show Scare Alexander into doing chores Send to doctor that killed Crystalline entity as gag gift Decorative air filter in picard’s fish tank Send to Starfleet Android research center so they can get “ahead” in research Trade to Ferengi for Star Trek Hologram cards Two words: tether ball Keep Worf’s coffee table from shaking Centerpiece in Ten Forward buffet Donate to Starfleet Academny to be…