Political
New Element!
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered! The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held ...
When Does Life Begin?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are discussing when life begins. The priests says, “It begins at conception”. The minister says, “Life begins at 24 weeks gestation”. The rabbi says, “You are both wrong, Life begins when the kids move out of the house and the dog dies.”
Only in America
1. Only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can ...
A Democrat High In The Air
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and ...
Simplifying the English Language
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EU, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme ...
Republicans, Democrats
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, ...
No Great Loss
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be ...
Map Win!
North America looks like a dragon spitting fire!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the ...
10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey
An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a 10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the ...
