Fail

  • Pool Diving Board
    Fail,  Travel

    Magic Pool

    There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them “Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in.” So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out “Bananas!” and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out “Money!” and lands in a pile of money. The third…

  • Speech Bubble Comics
    Fail,  Idiot

    Famous Last Words

    I’ll get a world record for this. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. Hey there’s no handles inside these car doors! It’s fireproof. He’s probably just hibernating. What does this button do? I’m making a citizen’s arrest. So, you’re a cannibal. It’s probably just a rash. Why am I standing on a plastic sheet? Are you sure the power is off? Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it? No, my shoes aren’t untied. The odds of that happening have to be a million to one! What do you mean, “I’ll be back”? Why is the rest of…

  • Car Insurance
    Driving,  Fail,  Police

    Funny Car Insurance Statements

    The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian…

  • Receptionists Hotel
    Fail,  Funny Ads,  Translation Fail

    Translation Fails

    In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted…

  • Fail

    Ad Placement Fail

    Some advertising placement can give funny or unfortunate results. Here are a few of them: “Strike Against Free Software: Microsoft Enters Catalonian Schools”

  • Middle Ages Manuscript History
    Children,  Fail,  School

    History Of The World… maybe

    History of the world according to actual grade school student exam papers! 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them…

  • Resume CV
    Business,  Computer,  Fail,  Idiot

    Funny Resume Bloopers

    Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: Responsibility makes me nervous. They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions. Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers. JOB RESPONSIBILITIES: While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured…

  • Fail

    More Ad Placement Fail

    I was unable to post for a while because I have been very busy lately, but here are some more ad placement fail pictures, as promised: “Come a little closer” “Two women to be stoned for adultery, says Amnesty”

  • Embarrassing Anxious Public Speaking
    Business,  Fail,  Funny Ads,  Translation Fail

    Top 13 Worst Marketing Slogan Translations Ever

    13. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” The company thought that the word “embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.” 12. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: “Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.” 11. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick,” a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “Manure Stick.” 10. Coors put its slogan, “Turn It Loose,” into Spanish,…

  • Newspapers Bundle
    Fail,  Funny Ads,  Idiot

    Funny Classified Ads Bloopers

    As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for…

  • Courtroom
    Fail,  Lawyer

    Courtroom Bloopers

    Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court. From Mrs. Gilman's two volumes, here are some transquips, all recorded by America's keepers of the word.