Courtroom Humor
Judge: I know you, don't I? Defendant: Uh, yes. Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you? Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you? Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me. Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie. From a defendant representing himself… Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole ...
Life Lessons Learned from Video Games
There is no problem that can't be overcome by violence. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having a lot of quarters. If it moves, shoot it. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. If someone dies, they disappear. Money is frequently found lying on the street. If it is on the ...
ISU Researchers Discover New Element [Parody]
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
Map Win!
North America looks like a dragon spitting fire!
Blonde on the Sun
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land ...
On their way home from the bar…
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away." Just then ...
The Hilarious Hijinks of Mischievous Kids: A Mother’s Day Prank Extravaganza!
Join in the laughter and mischief as a group of mischievous kids sets out to surprise their moms with a Mother's Day prank extravaganza. Experience the hilarious chaos that ensues as exploding cards, squirting flowers, and whoopee cushions take center stage. This heartwarming tale celebrates the joy of laughter and the unbreakable bond between children and their moms. Get ready for a side-splitting adventure that will leave you snorting with laughter and appreciating the whimsy of Mother's Day.
Signs that Star Trek is Taking Over Your Life
Saying "make it so" in casual conversation Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium. Able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer Have figured out the stardate system Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra Scanning ...
Corporate Stupidity
"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA) "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) "E-mail is not to be used ...
A Neutron Walks into a Bar…
A neutron walks into a bar. "Id like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
