— Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
— Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
— I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
— If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
— That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
— When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
— You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
— This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
— Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
— Stop your swearing and just breathe.
— Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You’re not using the right words.
— Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.