Some School Humor

Posted on Dec 5, 2019 by Jokes Team. Filed under Children, School

Below is a compilation of some school jokes. They are a bit old school, but hopefully you’ll still find some of them funny.

Teacher: What is the axis of the Earth?
Student: The axis of the Earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the Earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, sir.

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. Ho relation.”
The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide. “He wrote a check.”

Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?”
Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?”

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Pupil: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
Teacher: “Of course not.”
Pupil: “Good, because I haven’t done my homework.”

Teacher: Today, we’re going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say “I am beautiful,” which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so shall you… mess it up.
Better be safe than… punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the… bug is close.
It’s always darkest before… daylight savings time.
You can lead a horse to water but… how?
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a… Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new… math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the… pigs.
An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.
Happy the bride who… gets all the presents.
A penny saved is… not much.
Two’s company, three’s… the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
When the blind lead the blind… get out of there.