The following are excuse notes from parents (including original spellings) collected by the University of Texas: They were collected from Arkansas, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia and Mississippi. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. … Continue reading
Murphy Applied for an Engineering Position
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of … Continue reading
Signs Technology Took Over Your Life
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. … Continue reading
Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started … Continue reading
Irish Diplomacy
Q. What is Irish diplomacy? A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he will look forward to making the trip.
Horseback Cop
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that … Continue reading
The Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, … Continue reading
School Daze
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it … Continue reading
R. D. Jones And His Sewing Machine
The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. … Continue reading
Simplifying the English Language
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessary difficult; … Continue reading
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