After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when … Continue reading
Lifeboat
Only in America
Only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Continue reading
The Mistake Test
See if you can do this. Read each line aloud without making any mistakes. If you make a mistake you MUST start over or it won’t work. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This … Continue reading
Stupid Questions to Park Rangers
Who Says There’s No Such Thing As a Stupid Question? These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside … Continue reading
The Old Native American Wanted a Loan
The old native American wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, “What are you going to do with the money?” “Take jewellery to city and sell it,” was the response. “What have you got for … Continue reading
New Job
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve … Continue reading
Famous Last Words
I’ll get a world record for this. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. Hey there’s no handles inside these car doors! It’s fireproof. He’s probably just hibernating. What does this button do? I’m … Continue reading
In Order Of Stupidity…
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that’s the only time I … Continue reading
The Redhead
A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible”, says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee … Continue reading
What All Those Acronyms Really Mean
ISDN = It Still Does Nothing APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM = I Blame Microsoft DEC = Do Expect Cuts CA = Constant Acquisitions CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too. SCSI … Continue reading
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