Actors

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. “Who do you want to play?” Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. “I’ve always been a big fan … Continue reading

Magic Pool

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is … Continue reading

High Blood Pressure

When a physician remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” I asked. “Neither,” he replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.” “Oh, come … Continue reading

The Mirror

Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish. … Continue reading

Top 20 Uses for Data’s Detached Head

Combonation paperweight/stapler for Picard’s desk The ball in Parisis’ Squares Hood ornament for Shuttlecraft Replace Troi’s broken Chia Pet Scare blind students in Braille class Prop open doors for maintainence crews Lawn decoration in Arboreteum Footstool for Captain’s chair entertaining … Continue reading

Talking clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. … Continue reading

On Anglicans

Q. Why can’t Anglicans play chess? A. Because they can’t tell a Bishop from a Queen.

Irish diplomacy

Q. What is Irish diplomacy? A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he will look forward to making the trip.