Travel – CosmoBC.com Jokes http://jokes.cosmobc.com The Blog for Jokes and Funny Stuff! Tue, 10 Dec 2019 01:32:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 Funny Car Insurance Statements http://jokes.cosmobc.com/funny-car-insurance-statements/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/funny-car-insurance-statements/#comments Mon, 09 Dec 2019 21:30:54 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=682 The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining. … Continue reading

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Driving Under the Influence http://jokes.cosmobc.com/driving-under-the-influence/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/driving-under-the-influence/#comments Mon, 09 Dec 2019 13:19:47 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=631 One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try … Continue reading

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Ticket, Please! http://jokes.cosmobc.com/ticket-please/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/ticket-please/#respond Mon, 09 Dec 2019 05:07:08 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=162 Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the … Continue reading

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Microsoft Air http://jokes.cosmobc.com/microsoft-air/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/microsoft-air/#respond Sat, 07 Dec 2019 15:54:27 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=65 There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. … Continue reading

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A Blonde Game Of Intelligence http://jokes.cosmobc.com/a-blonde-game-of-intelligence/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/a-blonde-game-of-intelligence/#respond Sat, 07 Dec 2019 11:44:29 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=32 There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and … Continue reading

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Speeding http://jokes.cosmobc.com/speeding/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/speeding/#respond Wed, 04 Dec 2019 21:51:42 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=75 A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see … Continue reading

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The Italian Who Went to Malta http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-italian-who-went-to-malta/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-italian-who-went-to-malta/#respond Wed, 04 Dec 2019 17:36:48 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=119 (Must be read with an Italian accent) One day Ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her … Continue reading

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Smartest Man in the World http://jokes.cosmobc.com/smartest-man-world/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/smartest-man-world/#comments Tue, 03 Dec 2019 12:30:29 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=762 A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started … Continue reading

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Lifeboat http://jokes.cosmobc.com/lifeboat/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/lifeboat/#respond Tue, 26 Nov 2019 02:15:43 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=98 After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when … Continue reading

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The British and the Irish Collide http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-british-and-the-irish-collide/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-british-and-the-irish-collide/#respond Mon, 25 Nov 2019 18:01:46 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=113 This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98: IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to … Continue reading

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Stupid Questions to Park Rangers http://jokes.cosmobc.com/stupid-questions-to-park-rangers/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/stupid-questions-to-park-rangers/#respond Mon, 25 Nov 2019 01:46:18 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=705 Who Says There’s No Such Thing As a Stupid Question? These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside … Continue reading

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Drive Through ATM Procedures http://jokes.cosmobc.com/drive-through-atm-procedures/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/drive-through-atm-procedures/#respond Thu, 21 Nov 2019 19:38:17 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=12 Please note that Banks are installing new “Drive-through” teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. MALE PROCEDURE * 1 … Continue reading

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Rough Landing http://jokes.cosmobc.com/rough-landing/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/rough-landing/#respond Thu, 21 Nov 2019 07:13:46 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=1296 An airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a ”Thanks for riding … Continue reading

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On Their Way Home From the Bar… http://jokes.cosmobc.com/on-their-way-home-from-the-bar/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/on-their-way-home-from-the-bar/#respond Tue, 19 Nov 2019 13:38:25 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=29 John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading

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Late Train http://jokes.cosmobc.com/late-train/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/late-train/#respond Tue, 19 Nov 2019 01:12:33 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=599 A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell “All you sons of … Continue reading

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Map Win! http://jokes.cosmobc.com/map-win/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/map-win/#respond Sun, 17 Nov 2019 11:52:51 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=663 North America looks like a dragon spitting fire!

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Stop Sign http://jokes.cosmobc.com/stop-sign/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/stop-sign/#respond Sat, 16 Nov 2019 19:20:22 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=142 A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied. “You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But … Continue reading

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Magic Pool http://jokes.cosmobc.com/magic-pool/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/magic-pool/#respond Sat, 16 Nov 2019 15:17:16 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=596 There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is … Continue reading

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Parachute http://jokes.cosmobc.com/parachute/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/parachute/#comments Sat, 16 Nov 2019 11:05:21 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=633 One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the … Continue reading

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Blonde Driver http://jokes.cosmobc.com/blonde-driver/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/blonde-driver/#respond Thu, 14 Nov 2019 17:34:16 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=629 A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it… Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?” Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, … Continue reading

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Driving License http://jokes.cosmobc.com/driving-license/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/driving-license/#respond Wed, 13 Nov 2019 04:11:07 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=607 Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted … Continue reading

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The Pope Drives a Limousine http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-pope-drives-a-limousine/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-pope-drives-a-limousine/#comments Mon, 11 Nov 2019 14:57:53 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=720 The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much … Continue reading

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