Science

  • Star Trek Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Top 10 Bumperstickers on the U.S.S. Enterprise

    “Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!” “One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day…think about it” “HONK if you’ve slept with Commander Riker!” “Guns don’t kill people…Class 2 Phasers do!” “Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!” “CAUTION…We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical.” “If you can read this…don’t you think you’re a wee bit too close?” “Have you hugged a Ferengi today?” “We brake for cubes!” “Wesley On Board!” And, the best bumpersticker on Borg ship: “Blonde Borgs have the same fun.”

  • Star Trek Voyager Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Signs that Star Trek is Taking Over Your Life

    Saying “make it so” in casual conversation Indignation because the periodic table doesn’t include dilithium and tritanium. Able to use “variable phase inverter” in a sentence without excessive thought first More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer Have figured out the stardate system Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and “The Omega Glory” Memorization of the crew’s authorization codes Forgetting that present-day elevators don’t have voice interface Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments Actual serious thoughts about buying that…

  • Star Trek Voyager Spaceship
    Science,  TV Humor

    Top 10 Signs You’ve Watched Too Much Star Trek

    You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. You pull the legs off your hamster so you’ll have a tribble. You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale. Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Capt. Kirk. You fly into a…

  • Frog
    Animal,  School,  Science

    A Class Act

    A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”

  • Science Technology Paper
    School,  Science,  Translation Fail

    A Guide to Effective Scientific Communication

    Phrase: It has long been known Translation: I haven’t bothered to look up the reference Phrase: It is believed Translation: I think Phrase: It is generally believed Translation: A couple of other guys think so too Phrase: It is not unreasonable to assume Translation: If you believe this, you’ll believe anything Phrase: Of great theoretical importance Translation: I find it kind of interesting Phrase: Of great practical importance Translation: I can get some mileage out of it Phrase: Typical results are shown Translation: The best results are shown Phrase: 3 samples were chosen for further study Translation: The others didn’t make sense, so we ignored them Phrase: The 4 hour…