Lawyer – Jokes The Blog for Jokes and Funny Stuff! Wed, 29 Jan 2020 20:24:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Donation Sun, 26 Jan 2020 17:49:41 +0000 A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a … Continue reading

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Insurance Proceeds Fri, 24 Jan 2020 10:15:02 +0000 A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire … Continue reading

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FHA Loan Wed, 22 Jan 2020 09:16:13 +0000 A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title … Continue reading

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Courtroom Humor Wed, 22 Jan 2020 03:08:12 +0000 Judge: I know you, don’t I? Defendant: Uh, yes. Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you? Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you? Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me. Defendant: … Continue reading

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A Doctor and a Lawyer Met at a Party Sun, 19 Jan 2020 13:28:47 +0000 A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice. Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said, “Tell me, what do you do to stop … Continue reading

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The Stella Awards Wed, 15 Jan 2020 23:15:10 +0000 The “Stella” awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The “Stella” Award – for the most frivolous … Continue reading

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Iowa 3-Kick Rule Wed, 15 Jan 2020 04:45:31 +0000 A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer … Continue reading

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Disorder In The Court Fri, 10 Jan 2020 07:56:42 +0000 Things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats … Continue reading

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A Blonde Game Of Intelligence Tue, 07 Jan 2020 18:20:27 +0000 There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and … Continue reading

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Smartest Man in the World Fri, 03 Jan 2020 15:52:24 +0000 A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started … Continue reading

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Courtroom Bloopers Fri, 03 Jan 2020 03:41:36 +0000 Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court. From Mrs. Gilman's two volumes, here are some transquips, all recorded by America's keepers of the word. Continue reading

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Star Trek Lost Episode Tue, 31 Dec 2019 20:35:30 +0000 Picard: “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?” Geordi: “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by … Continue reading

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Creative Defense Tue, 31 Dec 2019 14:25:29 +0000 A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can … Continue reading

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Settling a Cow Case Mon, 30 Dec 2019 20:05:49 +0000 A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of … Continue reading

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