AMEN – The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN – Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR – A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER – A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. … Continue reading
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by a boy’s picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. … Continue reading
Q. Why can’t Anglicans play chess? A. Because they can’t tell a Bishop from a Queen.
The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help. Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church … Continue reading
Me: Bless me father, for I have sinned. Fr: How long ago was your last confession? M: about a week. Fr: Very good. What sins do you want to confess? M: lying about when my last confession was. Fr: *prolonged … Continue reading
Billy: “My wife got me to believe in religion.” Joe: “Really?” Billy: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only … Continue reading
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so … Continue reading
Man to God: God, what’s a million years to you? God: A minute. Man: What about a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, could I have a penny? God: Sure — in a minute.