The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only … Continue reading
Category Archives: Christian
My Wife Got Me to Believe in Religion
Billy: “My wife got me to believe in religion.” Joe: “Really?” Billy: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell”
Minutes and Pennies
Man to God: God, what’s a million years to you? God: A minute. Man: What about a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, could I have a penny? God: Sure — in a minute.
An Atheist
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like … Continue reading
A Priest and a Bus Driver Died and Went to Heaven
A priest and a bus driver both died and went to Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep … Continue reading
Confession
Me: Bless me father, for I have sinned. Fr: How long ago was your last confession? M: about a week. Fr: Very good. What sins do you want to confess? M: lying about when my last confession was. Fr: *prolonged … Continue reading
Funny Billboard
“Well, you did ask for a sign” – God That’s a funny billboard 🙂
When Does Life Begin?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are discussing when life begins. The priests says, “It begins at conception”. The minister says, “Life begins at 24 weeks gestation”. The rabbi says, “You are both wrong, Life begins when the kids … Continue reading
Catholic Terminology
AMEN – The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN – Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR – A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER – A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. … Continue reading
The Bible According to Kids
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so … Continue reading
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