Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: Responsibility makes me nervous. They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions. Was met with a string … Continue reading
Category Archives: Business
Funny Resume Bloopers
Reading Between the Lines
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5 … Continue reading
The Stella Awards
The “Stella” awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The “Stella” Award – for the most frivolous … Continue reading
Long Line
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A … Continue reading
Bill Gates Died and Went to Heaven
Bill Gates died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with the … Continue reading
Corporate Stupidity
“As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.” (Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA) “What I need is … Continue reading
Bank Name
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill … Continue reading
Webcomic: The 10 Stages of Software Development
This webcomic explains the ten stages of software development in a funny way. Each person understood it differently! As a programmer I would have to say that this scenario is pretty often quite accurate. 🙂
Insurance Proceeds
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire … Continue reading
I’m the Boss!
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that … Continue reading
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