Business – CosmoBC.com Jokes http://jokes.cosmobc.com The Blog for Jokes and Funny Stuff! Fri, 10 Jul 2020 17:35:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.2 Job Application http://jokes.cosmobc.com/job-application/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/job-application/#respond Fri, 10 Jul 2020 17:35:21 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=609 A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.” “Oh, great,” he … Continue reading

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Funny Resume Bloopers http://jokes.cosmobc.com/funny-resume-bloopers/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/funny-resume-bloopers/#respond Thu, 09 Jul 2020 17:12:37 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=696 Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: Responsibility makes me nervous. They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions. Was met with a string … Continue reading

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Job Interview http://jokes.cosmobc.com/job-interview/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/job-interview/#respond Tue, 07 Jul 2020 22:24:28 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=658 Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on … Continue reading

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If restaurants functioned like Microsoft… http://jokes.cosmobc.com/restaurants-functioned-microsoft/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/restaurants-functioned-microsoft/#respond Sun, 05 Jul 2020 08:59:21 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=785 Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, … Continue reading

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The Stella Awards http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-stella-awards/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-stella-awards/#respond Fri, 03 Jul 2020 07:54:43 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=102 The “Stella” awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The “Stella” Award – for the most frivolous … Continue reading

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Corporate Stupidity http://jokes.cosmobc.com/corporate-stupidity/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/corporate-stupidity/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2020 19:33:49 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=568 “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.” (Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA) “What I need is … Continue reading

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Insurance proceeds http://jokes.cosmobc.com/insurance-proceeds/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/insurance-proceeds/#respond Thu, 02 Jul 2020 01:15:25 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=655 A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire … Continue reading

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Murphy applied for an engineering position http://jokes.cosmobc.com/murphy-applied-for-an-engineering-position/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/murphy-applied-for-an-engineering-position/#respond Wed, 01 Jul 2020 07:07:09 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=44 Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of … Continue reading

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Star Trek Lost Episode http://jokes.cosmobc.com/star-trek-lost-episode/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/star-trek-lost-episode/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2020 00:17:53 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=728 Picard: “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?” Geordi: “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by … Continue reading

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Webcomic: The 10 stages of software development http://jokes.cosmobc.com/webcomic-the-10-stages-of-software-development/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/webcomic-the-10-stages-of-software-development/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2020 05:49:06 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=337 This webcomic explains the ten stages of software development in a funny way. Each person understood it differently! As a programmer I would have to say that this scenario is pretty often quite accurate. 🙂

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Top 13 Worst Marketing Slogan Translations Ever http://jokes.cosmobc.com/top-13-worst-marketing-slogan-translations-ever/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/top-13-worst-marketing-slogan-translations-ever/#comments Sun, 28 Jun 2020 11:21:31 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=245 13. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” The company thought that the word “embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the … Continue reading

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Rolls-Royce and Bank Loan http://jokes.cosmobc.com/rolls-royce-bank-loan/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/rolls-royce-bank-loan/#respond Sat, 27 Jun 2020 17:09:04 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=748 A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will … Continue reading

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I’m the Boss! http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-boss/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-boss/#respond Sat, 27 Jun 2020 04:41:06 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=42 The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that … Continue reading

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New Job http://jokes.cosmobc.com/new-job/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/new-job/#comments Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:18:39 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=723 A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve … Continue reading

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An Italian businessman on his deathbed http://jokes.cosmobc.com/an-italian-businessman-on-his-deathbed/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/an-italian-businessman-on-his-deathbed/#respond Fri, 19 Jun 2020 20:12:54 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=115 A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, “Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.” “And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do … Continue reading

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Minutes and Pennies http://jokes.cosmobc.com/minutes-pennies/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/minutes-pennies/#respond Sun, 14 Jun 2020 16:49:42 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=1318 Man to God: God, what’s a million years to you? God: A minute. Man: What about a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, could I have a penny? God: Sure — in a minute.

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Bank Name http://jokes.cosmobc.com/bank-name/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/bank-name/#respond Sat, 13 Jun 2020 22:12:05 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=10 Piggy BankMother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill … Continue reading

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Long Line http://jokes.cosmobc.com/long-line/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/long-line/#respond Fri, 12 Jun 2020 21:40:42 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=619 It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A … Continue reading

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Drive Through ATM Procedures http://jokes.cosmobc.com/drive-through-atm-procedures/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/drive-through-atm-procedures/#respond Wed, 10 Jun 2020 20:46:35 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=12 Please note that Banks are installing new “Drive-through” teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. MALE PROCEDURE * 1 … Continue reading

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Reading between the lines http://jokes.cosmobc.com/reading-between-lines/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/reading-between-lines/#respond Wed, 10 Jun 2020 08:24:12 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=47 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5 … Continue reading

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The Old Native American Wanted a Loan http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-old-native-american-wanted-a-loan/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/the-old-native-american-wanted-a-loan/#respond Sat, 06 Jun 2020 06:24:43 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=106 The old native American wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, “What are you going to do with the money?” “Take jewellery to city and sell it,” was the response. “What have you got for … Continue reading

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Bill Gates Died and Went to Heaven http://jokes.cosmobc.com/bill-gates-died-and-went-to-heaven/ http://jokes.cosmobc.com/bill-gates-died-and-went-to-heaven/#respond Thu, 28 May 2020 13:26:35 +0000 http://jokes.cosmobc.com/?p=58 Bill Gates died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with the … Continue reading

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