Blonde

  • Passenger Plane
    Blonde,  Lawyer,  Travel

    A Blonde Game Of Intelligence

    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes…

  • Blonde Woman With Horse
    Animal,  Blonde

    Blonde Riding a Horse

    A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try…

  • Sun Solar Flare
    Blonde,  Science

    Blonde on the Sun

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!” The American said, “We were the first on the moon!” The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!” The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

  • Blonde Woman Driving Car
    Blonde,  Driving,  Police,  Travel

    Blonde Driver

    A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it… Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?” Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65.” Cop : “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!” Blonde : “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on.” At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts. Cop : “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there?…

  • Doctor
    Blonde,  Doctor

    The Redhead

    A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible”, says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?” “No, ” she says, ” I’m actually a Blonde.” “I thought so”, the doctor says. “Your finger is broken.”

  • Blonde Woman With Horse
    American,  Animal,  Blonde,  Farmer

    No Horns

    “Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ’em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”

  • Blonde Woman Mirror
    Blonde

    The Mirror

    Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie – *Poof* – you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” *Poof* the mirror swallows her up. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I’m the sexiest woman…

  • ATM Machine
    Bank,  Blonde,  Business,  Travel,  Women

    Drive Through ATM Procedures

    Please note that Banks are installing new “Drive-through” teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. MALE PROCEDURE * 1 Drive up to the cash machine. * 2 Put down your car window. * 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN. * 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. * 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt. * 6 Put window up. * 7 Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE * 1 Drive up to cash machine. * 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine. *…

  • Doctor Pills
    Blonde,  Doctor

    Sleeping Pills

    An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.” “Great,” the blond answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.” A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how…

  • Blind Man
    Bar,  Blonde

    Blonde Joke in a Bar

    A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something, the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is…