Only in America

Only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Continue reading

An Atheist

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like … Continue reading

Fathers about Daughters

Any father will tell you that parents spend the first 2-3 years of a daughter’s life trying to teach them to talk, and the next 15 or so trying to get them to shut-up.

Iowa 3-Kick Rule

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer … Continue reading

No Horns

“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage … Continue reading

The Mirror

Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish. … Continue reading

New Job

A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve … Continue reading

Top 20 Uses for Data’s Detached Head

Combonation paperweight/stapler for Picard’s desk The ball in Parisis’ Squares Hood ornament for Shuttlecraft Replace Troi’s broken Chia Pet Scare blind students in Braille class Prop open doors for maintainence crews Lawn decoration in Arboreteum Footstool for Captain’s chair entertaining … Continue reading

What is intelligence?

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I … Continue reading