Illinois Dumb Laws

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping” on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is “American”.

Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire

Chicago: It is illegal to give a dog whiskey;

Chicago: Kites may not be flown within the city limits;

Chicago: Spitting is forbidden

In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.

In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or “otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object” are banned from going out in public.

In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.

Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb;

Pullman: It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.

Pullman: It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.

Crete: Cars may not be driven through the town.

Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

Evanston: Bowling is forbidden.

Evanston: It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Evanston: It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.

Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.

Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.

Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town’s name mispronounced ‘Jolly-ETTE’ when all local folk know it’s pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.

Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland’s streets.

Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.

Moline: There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.

Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.

Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.

Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.

It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.

Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.