Famous Last Words

I’ll get a world record for this. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. Hey there’s no handles inside these car doors! It’s fireproof. He’s probably just hibernating. What does this button do? I’m … Continue reading

The Redhead

A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible”, says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee … Continue reading

In Order Of Stupidity…

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that’s the only time I … Continue reading

Some Funny Google Fails

Google Auto Suggest is, as we can see from its name, an automated suggestion system. It is based on popular search queries. Since there’s a lot of weird people out there, Google will sometimes make some weird suggestions, as shown … Continue reading

Six Again

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local … Continue reading

Sleeping Pills

An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” … Continue reading

Rough Landing

An airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a ”Thanks for riding … Continue reading