Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted … Continue reading
Reading between the lines
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5 … Continue reading
R. D. Jones And His Sewing Machine
The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. … Continue reading
Creative Defense
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can … Continue reading
Rules for Women
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you … Continue reading
Bill Gates Died and Went to Heaven
Bill Gates died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with the … Continue reading
An American was telling one of his favorite jokes…
An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends. “Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians.” The lone … Continue reading
20 Things that never happen in Star Trek
The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright. Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and … Continue reading
Painting
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, “Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven’t had … Continue reading
More Words
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. It read, “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000.” Excited to prove to his wife that he had … Continue reading
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