Phrase: It has long been known Translation: I haven’t bothered to look up the reference Phrase: It is believed Translation: I think Phrase: It is generally believed Translation: A couple of other guys think so too Phrase: It is not … Continue reading
A Guide to Effective Scientific Communication
Minutes and Pennies
Man to God: God, what’s a million years to you? God: A minute. Man: What about a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, could I have a penny? God: Sure — in a minute.
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways: Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are … Continue reading
Ad Placement Fail
Some advertising placement can give funny or unfortunate results. Here are a few of them: “Strike Against Free Software: Microsoft Enters Catalonian Schools” Yahoo Fail!
A Programmer Joke
Three guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is … Continue reading
An Atheist
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like … Continue reading
Computer Gender
Why computers should be considered masculine: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, … Continue reading
A Letter From an Irish Mother
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I’m writing this slowly because I know you can’t read fast. You wont know the house when you get home, ‘cos we’ve moved. Your Father has a … Continue reading
Lifeboat
After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when … Continue reading
The British and the Irish Collide
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98: IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to … Continue reading
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