When a physician remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” I asked. “Neither,” he replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.” “Oh, come … Continue reading
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on … Continue reading
Talking Clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. … Continue reading
On Their Way Home From the Bar…
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading
Where Is Your Homework?
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
No Great Loss
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.” One little boy stands up and offers that, “If my best friend who lives next door is … Continue reading
Funny Classified Ads Bloopers
As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A … Continue reading
An Italian Man Gets One Wish
An Italian man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, … Continue reading
Late Train
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell “All you sons of … Continue reading
Republicans, Democrats
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty … Continue reading
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